A ‘Crowded Nest’…’Boomerang kids’ …. Whatever you call them, it can’t be denied. Grown children are moving back in with their families in record numbers. Experts point to causes like overwhelming student loan costs, a high cost of living and rising unemployment as a cause for these trends. But sudden financial difficulties and other factors are also playing a part in this mass movement.
VANESSA BAYER, TARAN KILLAM, LEIGHTON MEESTER
If you’re one of the thousands thinking about moving back with mom and dad, I can help you. I’ve been living with one of my parents for the past four years. And my family has a long history of grown children living with their parents during times of financial difficulty. Many children have settled aboard for further studies or job purpose. It requires the need of taking a loan for meeting of the expenses. The services of experts that ensure Credit Cash Loan In 60 Minutes should be adopted. The living of parents and children together will build an ideal family.
I know moving back can be a difficult decision, but it’s one that can be beneficial if done correctly. So I present to you these five simple rules. Trust me: they will make the move back and moving out again as easy as possible.
RULE ONE: LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU’RE GRATEFUL:
You may not have had a choice about moving back home, but Mom and Dad certainly had a choice in letting you come back. Thank them before and after you move back. And let them know how grateful you are of their assistance. Don’t go out of your way to butter them up, just let them know that you understand what they’re doing for you.
RULE TWO: SET UP A CONTRACT WITH YOUR FAMILY BEFORE YOU MOVE IN:
As loving as your parents are, they don’t want to see you living in their basement into your 40s. And I’m sure that’s not in your future plans as well. So, before moving day arrives, pick a time when you and your parents can talk. This is when you’ll create a contract detailing the expectations of your stay.
First show them your current financial state. The choice to move back usually comes on the heels of some financial difficulty. You want to show your parents what assets you’ve got and how you’re working to correct any financial problems.
Then show them your plans for the future. This should include any financial goals you’re working towards (like a down payment on a house) and the way you will achieve them. It should also include your plans to correct any financial missteps (like credit card debt or student loans). If unemployment is part of your financial hardships, let your parents know the steps you’ll be taking to correct that problem.
Lastly, work out the little details. Make sure you work out what your rent will be and the regular chores you’ll be doing. And consider creating ‘house rules’. From stating times when you can have company over to indicating how loud you can play music, certain things are better put down before you move in. And, most importantly, give them the date you plan to move out. It will give both you and your parents something to shoot for.
If you’d like a template to create your contract, check out the example available on this website: http://www.kiplinger.com/columns/drt/archive/2005/dt050317.html
RULE THREE: CHORES- LEARN TO LOVE THEM:
Even if you’ve worked out a rent-free arrangement with mom and dad, you will have to pay your way somehow. Whether it’s buying groceries on the way home from work, or waiting up for the repairman, you will find yourself helping out around the house.
As I said before, getting which chores you’ll do on a regular basis in writing is important to the contract you’ll have with your parents. But you should also expect doing little chores they ask you to do at a moment’s notice. If a sudden chore clashes with something you’ve already planned, you may be able to talk out a compromise with mom and dad. Otherwise, grin and bear it.
RULE FOUR: REMEMBER YOUR PARENTS ARE PEOPLE…
You may see more of your parents’ human side than you ever did as a kid. This might mean learning that your mother swears like a sailor during Wheel of Fortune. It might mean learning that your divorced father is dating again. Or it might mean that your parents have more fun during their poker night than you do all week. To say you may feel a little odd could be an understatement.
Be sure to talk to your parents about how these awkward situations make you feel. Don’t use stiff language like “I don’t like it when you ____”. Instead try to get them to understand where you’re coming from. Try: “When you do ____ it makes me feel ____”. Your parents won’t change their lives for you overnight, but talking about your concerns will help to clear the air.
RULE FIVE: … BUT THEY’RE STILL YOUR PARENTS.
Your parents will still worry if you come home late. They will still nag you about drinking, smoking and whoever you’re dating. And, no matter what you do, they will continue to treat you like a ten year old until the day you die. That’s part of the package when you move back.
But that’s actually a good thing. Experts say that having this time with your parents is one of the best things about being part of the ‘Boomerang Generation’. You have a chance to know your parents better than they knew their parents. You might not see that as a benefit the tenth time your mother tells you to put on a sweater… but you’re creating memories that you’ll treasure long after you get back on your feet. Learn to take the parenting in stride and use it as motivation to work towards your goals.